If you're reading this, I'd bet money on how your last hot day went.
You wore the dress. The floaty one you love, the one that only comes out three weeks a year because this is Britain and we take what we're given.
And by mid-afternoon, your inner thighs were on fire. Red raw. Stinging with every step. Doing that walk, you know the one, to the nearest chemist or the loos of a café to sort yourself out with whatever was in your bag.
If that's you, you're in enormous company. On Mumsnet, a thread titled "Chub rub — bloody hell!" ran to over a hundred replies in days. Every summer, the same conversation, the same question: what actually works?
And here's the first thing I want to say, because somebody always wades into those threads with it:
This is not about your size.
Slim women get it. Runners get it. Pregnant women get it. Women who were a size 8 at their smallest get it, because thigh rub is caused by friction and heat, not by weight. Anywhere warm skin touches warm skin, inner thighs, under the bust, along the bra line, the tummy fold, the same thing happens, whatever the number on the label of that dress.
So let's put "just lose weight" in the bin where it belongs, and talk about what's actually going on. Because once you understand it, you'll understand why everything you've tried has let you down, and why it was never your fault.
The thing nobody tells you about chafing
Ask most people what chafing is and they'll say: skin rubbing on skin. That's half right. And it's the half everyone's been sold a fix for.
But think about when it happens. Not on a crisp October morning. It happens on the hot day. The long walk. The wedding where you danced. The airport, the beach, the school sports day in July.
In other words: it happens when you sweat.
That's the half nobody talks about. Chafing isn't just friction, it's friction plus damp. The skin between your thighs, or under your bust, sits warm and slightly sweaty against itself all day. Damp skin is softer, more delicate, and drags against itself instead of gliding. So it rubs itself raw in a way that dry skin simply doesn't.
One woman on Mumsnet put it better than any skincare company ever has: